WHY DO MOST MEN CHEAT?
So I've been thinking about this for a while now. I don't know why, can't really put my finger on it, but it is a pressing issue that bothers so many people. It has been taken as a normal happening for so long that many people out there don't even see it as a big deal anymore, many people you know, especially the men. So here's the big question, why do most men cheat? How can a man have a loving wife/girlfriend having all the desirable qualities that one would want to find in a partner, you name it, looks, character, intellect, everything, and still decide to cheat? I'm not saying woman don't cheat, trust me I know a ton of girls who cheat on their boyfriends, but the number of men I know who cheat will probably be thrice the number of women who cheat. I decided to research a bit on it, find out more, ask some people, and this is what I found.
1.EMOTIONAL ATTENTION
First thing I found out was that, strangely, the main reason why most men cheat isn't sexual dissatisfaction. Now I know most of you would want to stop reading this post right know because you know , how on earth can I say that sexual dissatisfaction isn't the main reason. So much for the myth that, for men, cheating is all about sex: According to research by marriage counsellor Gary Neuman, only 8 percent of men said that sexual dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is sex," Neuman says. "But men are emotionally-driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked," Neuman says. "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness—and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it." I was really shocked when I read this. I mean it's weird, here I was thinking that most men will cheat because they saw someone finer than their spouse, and wanted that person more. Apparently it goes deeper than that, men actually do want emotional attention. Your man may not tell you, but he actually does want you to provide him with this attention just as much as you crave it from him. He won't nag, basically because nagging is annoying and deemed unmanly, but he wants your affection, and the minute he doesn't get it from you, immediately someone else shows it to him, he's more likely to get attached.
2.SEXUAL DISSATISFACTION
I guess this one is self explanatory. I asked on girl what will be her best punishment when her man annoys her and guess what she said? "No sex till I feel better". Now I'm not saying that you should keep having sex even though you don't want to, and you're obviously annoyed with your spouse. I mean that would be stupid, sex should be magical, very intense, and definitely not in an angry mood, but when you start depriving your husband of sex, he's bound to find it somewhere else. There are 7 billion people in the world, he's bound to find someone who is willing to satisfy those needs. Sometimes also, it's not because of a fight, it's just basically the fact that the sex is boring. According to Neuman's research, only 12% of men said their mistress was more attractive than their spouse. This means, he really isn't looking for someone nicer, but someone who'll fill thy void. Sure men admire women, we'll all compliment a really beautiful girl when she passes by, but that doesn't mean we want her. Most men cheat because there's something at home they're not getting, and so they're seeking it elsewhere.
3.INFLUENCE OF FRIENDS
Not all men are bad. I'm tired of hearing girls say all men are the same, we're not, we're very different. The problem is the friends we hang around with. Your man may be a good guy, loving, caring faithful, all of that, but have this one friend who's the direct opposite. Now people think peer pressure only exists in high school, it exists in the outside world. Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it. You can't simply ban your husband from hanging out with Mr. Wandering Eyes, Neuman says, but you can request that they spend their time together in an environment that offers less temptation, like at a sporting event or a restaurant for lunch rather than at a bar or club. Another strategy: Build your social circle around happily married couples that share your values—it'll create an environment that supports marriage. I think the second option is really easy.
4.SOME MEN ARE BASICALLY JERKS
Sure all the reasons I gave are legitimate, but sometimes, some people are just jerks. You really have to know your man before you start a relationship. I'm not telling you to go hire a private investigator, but you really need to know your man. Some men just can't stay with one woman. They go by the motto, monogamy is unrealistic. Some men just won't stay faithful, you can give them everything, but they'll still want more. Once you realize this is the type of man you have, it's best if you just walk out of the relationship. Some men also don't love you enough to stay faithful. You need to know who your man is so that you will have peace in your life.
These aren't all the reasons, I'm pretty sure there are more, if you have any additions, you can add them to the comment box. I really don't think cheating is a normal phenomenon. You can stick by my rule, have all the fun you want if you're single, but when you're in a relationship, respect your partner enough to stay faithful.
1.EMOTIONAL ATTENTION
First thing I found out was that, strangely, the main reason why most men cheat isn't sexual dissatisfaction. Now I know most of you would want to stop reading this post right know because you know , how on earth can I say that sexual dissatisfaction isn't the main reason. So much for the myth that, for men, cheating is all about sex: According to research by marriage counsellor Gary Neuman, only 8 percent of men said that sexual dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is sex," Neuman says. "But men are emotionally-driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked," Neuman says. "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness—and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it." I was really shocked when I read this. I mean it's weird, here I was thinking that most men will cheat because they saw someone finer than their spouse, and wanted that person more. Apparently it goes deeper than that, men actually do want emotional attention. Your man may not tell you, but he actually does want you to provide him with this attention just as much as you crave it from him. He won't nag, basically because nagging is annoying and deemed unmanly, but he wants your affection, and the minute he doesn't get it from you, immediately someone else shows it to him, he's more likely to get attached.
2.SEXUAL DISSATISFACTION
I guess this one is self explanatory. I asked on girl what will be her best punishment when her man annoys her and guess what she said? "No sex till I feel better". Now I'm not saying that you should keep having sex even though you don't want to, and you're obviously annoyed with your spouse. I mean that would be stupid, sex should be magical, very intense, and definitely not in an angry mood, but when you start depriving your husband of sex, he's bound to find it somewhere else. There are 7 billion people in the world, he's bound to find someone who is willing to satisfy those needs. Sometimes also, it's not because of a fight, it's just basically the fact that the sex is boring. According to Neuman's research, only 12% of men said their mistress was more attractive than their spouse. This means, he really isn't looking for someone nicer, but someone who'll fill thy void. Sure men admire women, we'll all compliment a really beautiful girl when she passes by, but that doesn't mean we want her. Most men cheat because there's something at home they're not getting, and so they're seeking it elsewhere.
3.INFLUENCE OF FRIENDS
Not all men are bad. I'm tired of hearing girls say all men are the same, we're not, we're very different. The problem is the friends we hang around with. Your man may be a good guy, loving, caring faithful, all of that, but have this one friend who's the direct opposite. Now people think peer pressure only exists in high school, it exists in the outside world. Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it. You can't simply ban your husband from hanging out with Mr. Wandering Eyes, Neuman says, but you can request that they spend their time together in an environment that offers less temptation, like at a sporting event or a restaurant for lunch rather than at a bar or club. Another strategy: Build your social circle around happily married couples that share your values—it'll create an environment that supports marriage. I think the second option is really easy.
4.SOME MEN ARE BASICALLY JERKS
Sure all the reasons I gave are legitimate, but sometimes, some people are just jerks. You really have to know your man before you start a relationship. I'm not telling you to go hire a private investigator, but you really need to know your man. Some men just can't stay with one woman. They go by the motto, monogamy is unrealistic. Some men just won't stay faithful, you can give them everything, but they'll still want more. Once you realize this is the type of man you have, it's best if you just walk out of the relationship. Some men also don't love you enough to stay faithful. You need to know who your man is so that you will have peace in your life.
These aren't all the reasons, I'm pretty sure there are more, if you have any additions, you can add them to the comment box. I really don't think cheating is a normal phenomenon. You can stick by my rule, have all the fun you want if you're single, but when you're in a relationship, respect your partner enough to stay faithful.
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